我们并不害怕1（续）
Fatima Z. Syed医学博士、理学硕士
2021年3月17日发表于Annals of Internal Medicine杂志
如果梦想重新开始，会变得怎样？
它会像阳光下的花朵
冉冉升起吗？
集合勇气
治愈创伤
它闻起来会是甜甜的吗？
或者，它会像心跳一样——
和生活一起律动吗？
或许梦想会变得持久
就像以前一样
它会消除伤痛吗？2
四年前，我曾在这本杂志上撰文《我们并不害怕》（1）。但事实上，在过去的四年中仍有一些令人恐惧的时刻，并且令人痛苦的时刻甚至更多。首当其冲的是正在流行的大瘟疫，在本文发表时已经夺取了至少50万美国人的生命；当然，还有国内示威人群袭击国会。当我的一位患者的父亲被驱逐出境时，当我的患者因COVID-19去世时，当我意识到在医疗系统中仍然存在不平等时，我都感到痛苦。对我冲击最大的时刻是，我的一位患者在自杀前1周曾对我说“我终于意识到，人都需要他人3”；他的离世让我觉得，我们的医疗系统、我们的社会可能让他失望了。
过去的几周十分阴冷，不过好在新总统的上任4至少给了我一些务实的希望，我也看到了事情好的一面——医疗系统中平等的工作、学生们逐渐复学、我的孩子充满欢乐。美国的试验5仍将继续。我们所有人，包括内科医生，都要努力使得被边缘化的人生活得更好6。
我并不害怕，我将致力于为达到这个目标而努力工作。因为有了这个目标，我有了希望。
参考文献：
（1）Syed FZ. We are not afraid. Ann Intern Med. 2017;166:375. [PMID: 28265664] doi:10.7326/M16-2632
译者著：
1 我们并不害怕（We are not afraid），来自美国民谣歌手Joan Baez演唱的民权运动歌曲《我们终将胜利（We shall overcome）》。该段歌词的原文是We are not afraid. We are not afraid. We are not afraid, today.
2 作者撰写的一首小诗，原文如下：What happens to a dream renewed? Does it rise up like a flower in the sun? To muster the courage to heal, Wounds that are real. Does it smell of something sweet. Or does it pulse with life—like a heartbeat? Maybe it will last, Like it did before. Will it settle the score? 其中“梦想”可能指向民权运动中马丁路德金的著名演讲《我有一个梦想（I have a dream）》。
3 人都需要他人（People need people）。英国作家Benjamin Zephaniah有一首同名诗歌，第一段写道People need people, To walk to, To talk to, To cry and rely on, People will always need people.
4 约瑟夫·拜登（Joseph Biden）于2021年1月21日就任美国第46任总统。
5 原文为The American experiment continues on，译者推测为美国社会中正在进行的变革。
6 原文为to advance the lives of the marginalized，译者推测the marginalized代指各种原因受到歧视的人群，可能与民权运动有关。
原文：
We Are Not Afraid: Part Two
Fatima Z. Syed, MD, MSc 3/17/2021
What happens to a dream renewed?
Does it rise up
like a flower in the sun?
To muster the courage to heal
Wounds that are real
Does it smell of something sweet
Or does it pulse with life—
like a heartbeat?
Maybe it will last
Like it did before
Will it settle the score?
Four years ago, in this journal, I wrote a piece saying we are not afraid (1). The truth is there have been several moments of fear and even more moments of pain in the past 4 years. None more challenging than a concurrent plague taking a half a million American lives by the time this is published and an insurrection in the temple of this republic by domestic terrorists. There was the moment when my patient’s father was deported. There were moments when my patients died from coronavirus disease 2019. There were moments I realized the lack of equity that existed within my own profession. There was the moment that weighed heaviest on me, when my patient 1 week before he died by suicide said, “I’ve come to the realization that people need people,” and his loss made me feel that the health care system, society, and I had failed him.
The past few weeks have felt so bleak, but the new president offers me pragmatic hope. It allows me to see the moments of good—the equity work being done at my health system, the resilience of my students, the joy of my son. The American experiment continues on. It requires work, by all of us, even us internists, to advance the lives of the marginalized.
I am not afraid, but I am committed to putting in the work, and because of that commitment, I have hope.
References
Syed FZ. We are not afraid. Ann Intern Med. 2017;166:375. [PMID: 28265664] doi:10.7326/M16-2632
